Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Dear Stephen King:
We at Sussex Regional High School would like to give you the once and a life time chance to visit our quaint little town. Now, I know that there are hundreds of reasons not to come. Although, those hundred are nothing compared to the thousand why you should. Not only will you get the extraordinary experience of meeting the fine, well-mannered students of SRHS, you will also gain publicity for yourself and for the community, inspire many young readers and writers as well as teachers and last but not least you may even acquire new story ideas. As you can see this is a chance that you just simply cannot refuse.
Firstly, think about the publicity you can gain by the very easy decision of coming to our little town. When you come you are not arriving until late October, by that time you will most likely already have a manuscript on the works. Even though you are already quite a well-known author more publicity couldn’t hurt. Sussex isn’t the largest of towns, you coming here would help put us on the maps.
Secondly, you will get the awe-inspiring chance to prompt students into the field of reading and writing. Many of our students don’t enjoy the pass time of reading. You could be the one to push them in the right direction. Now, wouldn’t that be fulfilling? You could also have the opportunity to nudge them in the field of writing. How would you feel if you were the one to discover the next great author from SRHS.
Thirdly, you may even inspire new story ideas for yourself. Think of it now, the mines in Sussex go on for miles wouldn’t that be the perfect setting for a gruesome, frightening horror story. If that doesn’t interest you, you could also use one of our many covered bridges or even one of the dozens of big, old farms (You never know a cow could go killer) as a murder site. Now, Sussex not only has many great places to base murders on we also have some very “interesting” people. Not to frighten you away of course but everyplace has their odd ones; …Sussex just has a few more.
You may still be thinking negatively of coming to our little ol’ school. Perhaps the thought, ‘I’m too busy’, has crossed your mind. Well, the truth is no you’re not. You have a little less than a year to plan around this. Maybe you’re thinking, ‘It’s a waste of time’. How so, didn’t you just read three fantastic reasons why coming to Sussex would be a great experience for you? And lastly you may even be thinking, ‘Sussex is such a small town, what would I do?’, Granted it is a small town, just over four thousand people, but remember it not the size that matters, it is the great experience you’ll have and an experience is promised. Sussex is the dairy and mural capital of New Brunswick, if you don’t want to look at the cows look at the murals and if you get tired of looking at our beautiful hand painted murals, you can have the wonderful joy of watching our well-groomed, slightly poop-covered cows again. Where’s the boredom in that?
As you can see coming to little ol’ Sussex would be a fantastic opportunity. You will get to add to your already giant publicity. Also you will inspire many young students with their reading and writing. Lastly, aid you with new inspirations for settings, plots and even characters. We at Sussex will treat you like the ‘King’ you are, so you see the question you should be asking yourself isn’t why come, it’s when can I get here?